I remember the smile that she had
The lady with the long auburn hair
And if I close my eyes
And block everything out
I can still hear her laugh
We were the same height
So it was always easy to find her eyes
They were always trying to find mine
Her eyes were green sometimes
And other days they were brown
And her nose
I loved her nose
Other people hated it
But I thought it was perfect
I really did think she was perfect
She could’ve hit me over the head, knocking me out
And thrown my body overtop of a pile of broken glass
And used me to walk on, so she didn’t cut her feet
And I probably would’ve woke up happy that I got to help her
I probably really would’ve done that
She probably could’ve hit me with her car
And I’d apologize for leaving a dent
The thing is
She would never do anything like that to me
She was sweet
She really was
She was funny, and goofy, and beautiful, and intelligent, and I really liked her.
But,
I never told her any of this
Of course I didn’t
I never really made a move on her
Don’t get me wrong
I planned to
I wanted to
I was going to
It just . . . never worked out like I thought it was going to
Something always got in the way
And
I thought I would have more time with her
I really did think that
I thought I would have the rest of my life her
Pretty crazy, right?
Yeah, I was pretty pathetic back then
I was terrified to go after her
Scared stiff
And it still haunts me at night sometimes
Like last night
When she crept up into my thoughts
And slithered her way into my dreams
And now this morning stings
With the memories of her auburn hair and her laugh
She’s a mom now
And I guess she married some guy that looks like me
I don’t like him
I haven’t ever met him
But I know I don’t like him
I know it
And
I don’t even care that she has a kid
I bet she’s a great mom
I really think that
Normally I avoid dating moms
But I’d date her if she ever ditched that guy that looks like me
She should do that soon
Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if she did that.
CH 12/2/24
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