In This Film

In this film

   I know

There is no happy ending

There never was

Not for us, Love

    But

Still

   From miles away

From my grand piano

  From my megaphone

   I’d like to say

I hope your dreams are amazing, Kid.

The dream that we had

   It was all that I had planned . . .

I’ve never been much of a man

  I don’t know shit about cars

    And I don’t have health insurance

I don’t vote

   I poison myself with hope

I feel everything a hundred times

   Then I make that feeling run laps in my mind

    Until it eventually fizzles out

      And all that’s left behind

Is a puff of smoke

         Then I inhale that smoke so I can numb my soul

I’m God’s worst joke

  Some of us aren’t made for this world, Babe

   And I don’t really want to conform to it

So

  I’ll climb a hundred mountains instead

And when I get to the top of every one of them

  I’ll shout out

“I hope your dreams are amazing, Kid!!”

   And maybe if I’m lucky

Those words will get stuck in the clouds

   And someday

When you’re found

   My words will rain down

And you can hear me again

  Like you used to

When we were kids . . .

. . . I want to believe

  That one day I’ll be better

But the pressure won’t leave

   And I feel angry . . .

And I want to believe

   That one day 

We’ll grab a drink

   And talk again

And you’ll recommend another book for me

   And you’ll make me another playlist

And I’ll probably write another book for you

Even if I can’t have you, Kid

   I still want your dreams to be amazing

But, hey,

  I was wondering,

What are your dreams now?

   Where have you been?

How're you living?

I swear I’m still a good man, Babe

  I want you to know that

   I swear that’s true

I promise you

   Everyone lies

But not me to you

  I would never . . .

  I’m still a good man . . .

I’m trying to be good, Babe

   I want to believe that one day I'll better

But

   Truthfully 

I am probably 

  Much worse

Than I was

   When you would throw your long spider legs over my shoulders

And I am probably much worse now

  Than I was

When you would dance naked in my kitchen with a glass of wine 

   And I am probably much worse than I was when

You left me suspended alone in a bottomless pit of darkness

   But, hey kid,

That is what woke up ‘The Artist’ 

  And for that

I think I’ll be forever grateful for you

   I promise that’s probably true.

I always knew there was never going to be a happy ending in this film . . . I just wanted to prove to you that I was a good man once . . . But what I’ve become trying to prove it to you is—. . .

. . . Anyway,

I hope your dreams are amazing, Kid.

-CH 4/23/25